kecil sudah punya selera, kalau gede pasti juara
[juara motret gitu lho]
diambil dari blognya bahtiar
{[harapan cewek] + [kecemasan cowok]} x [katanya sih cinta] = perkawinan
kalau saja ada tambahan materi modul dalam kursus setir mobil, hal beginian bisa dihindari. ingat prinsip “utamakan selamat”.
Oral sex caused car smash
Police in Romania were shocked to find a car crash was caused because a couple were having oral sex while driving.The driver lost control on a crowded road in Craiova, Dolj county, and collided with an oncoming car, reports Editie Speciala newspaper.
The young man, whose identity was not revealed, admitted to police that he was having a “hell of a time” at the time of the crash.
Police said the couple were still in their car, fully naked, when officers reached the scene of the accident.
The couple were found completely naked in their car by police officers who came to investigate.
A police spokesperson said: “We couldn’t believe our eyes but it was the naked truth.
“They were having sex while driving. We hope they have learned their lesson now - not to do anything distracting while driving.”
Three persons needed medical help after the crash.
sumber: ananova
ANEH Tuesday | 5 July 2005 | 07:49:46
“ayah.. kenapa sih, nama-nama kita kok terdengar aneh?”
“iya.. nama kalian selalu dikaitkan dengan sebuah kejadian. seperti kakakmu si ‘mawar merah’ itu, waktu lahir kebetulan ada bunga mawar berwarna merah tumbuh di depan rumah..”
“terus si ‘kambing bulu’?”
“waktu hamil abangmu itu, ibumu ngidam daging kambing yang masih berbulu..”
“oh, rasanya aku semakin paham kenapa namaku ‘kondom bocor’..”
ANEH Monday | 20 June 2005 | 16:37:41
“anak muda, bapak nggak ngerti buku yang kamu maksud. belon pernah dengar. coba cari ke kios aki sebelah, atau kios opung di ujung sana, siapa tahu ada.”
ANEH, S.A.R.A. {maaf} Saturday | 18 June 2005 | 12:51:46
pria negro menikahi wanita keturunan india. saat kelahiran anak pertama, ternyata kondisi fisik si anak sangat berbeda dari kedua orangtuanya. kulit anak laki-laki tersebut putih, rambutnya lurus, dan matanya sipit. maka sepakat, mereka memberi nama:
SAM TING WONG
ANEH | 12:43:49
“met malam, ma… maaf papa pulang telat lagi. sekarang papa logged in.”
“apakah papa bawa oleh-oleh yang mama minta?”
“bad command or filename.”
“tapi mama kan sudah bilang dari tadi pagi…!?”
“errorneous syntax. abort?”
“terus, bagaimana dengan beli perabot baru?”
“variable not found…”
“oke deh.. kalo gitu, mama pinjem kartu kreditnya. mama mau belanja sendiri aja.”
“sharing violation. access denied..”
“huh! apakah papa lebih mencintai komputer daripada mama? atau papa hanya main-main saja?”
“too many parameters…”
“ini kesalahan terbesar mama, menikahi orang ‘idiot’ seperti papa..”
“data type mismatch.”
“papa tidak berguna!”
“it’s by default.”
“bagaimana dengan gaji papa?”
“file in use… try later.”
“kalo gitu, papa anggap apa posisi mama di keluarga ini?”
“unknown virus!”
seorang bocah cowok usia 10 tahun diajak ayahnya ke apotek. selagi menunggu obat si anak melihat-lihat etalase. ketika ada dagangan yang tak dia pahami anak itu membisiki ayahnya: “pa, itu apaan sih?”
“o, itu kondom. untuk bungkus titit kalo lagi berhubungan sex.”
berlagak dewasa, anak itu menjawab, “ya, ya, aku ingat. di sekolah kemarin juga diajari soal reproduksi.” ayahnya tersenyum bangga. anak itu kembali menghampiri etalase dan mengajak ayahnya mendekat.
“pa, kalo yang isi 3 maksudnya apa?”
“o, itu untuk mahasiswa. satu untuk jumat, satu untuk sabtu, satu untuk minggu.”
“kalo yang isi 6 pa?”
“o, itu untuk karyawan muda. dua untuk jumat, dua untuk sabtu, dua untuk minggu.”
“gitu ya? kalo yang isi 12 pa?”
“ah itu untuk orang dewasa yang udah nikah kayak papa. satu untuk januari, satu buat februari, satu untuk maret, satu untuk…”
ibu kota memang kejam, melebihi kekejaman 10 bang napi. lihat saja suami-istri pun terlalu lelah untuk bercinta. sudah gitu masih numpang di rumah sempit mertua, bareng para ipar yang reseh pula. tapi demi keutuhan pernikahan, pada suatu sore si istri menawarkan kesepakatan:
“mas kalo aku lagi kangen lalu mepet terus, dan kebetulan mas lagi pingin, putingku ditarik dua kali ya. tapi kalo mas lagi nggak mood, sekali aja nariknya.”
kesepakatan berjalan. tiga bulan kemudian, sepekan setelah kehilangan pekerjaan, si suami ganti memberi isyarat:
“jeng, kalo kamu lagi mood, burungku ditarik sekali aja. tapi kalo lagi nggak mood, yah cukuplah ditarik seratus kali, dari pelan jadi cepet, gak usah kenceng-kenceng megangnya.”
ANEH | 07:51:53
jika the beatles gemar komputer
yesterday…
all those backups seemed a waste of pay
now my database has gone away
oh i believe in yesterdaysuddenly..
there’s not half the files there used to be
and there’s a milestone hanging over me
the system crashed, so suddenlyi pushed something wrong
what it was i couldn’t say
now all my data’s gone and i long for yesterday-ye-ye-yeyesterday…
the need for backups seemed so far away
i knew my data was all here to stay
now i believe in yesterday
ANEH Tuesday | 31 May 2005 | 08:38:45
hadiah ulang tahun apa yang tepat untuk cowok 16 tahun? seorang ibu lupa membedakan mana untuk suami mana untuk anak.
NASHVILLE, Tenn. - A mother faces criminal charges after she hired a stripper to dance at her 16-year-old son’s birthday party. Anette Pharris, 34, has been indicted by a grand jury on charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and involving a minor in obscene acts. The boy’s father, the stripper and two others also face charges.
“I tried to do something special for my son,” Pharris said. “It didn’t harm him.”
About 10 people under the age of 18 were at the birthday party in September, including minors who were not related to the family, authorities said.
Police spokesman Don Aaron said minors are not permitted in adult establishments.
“A person shouldn’t be allowed to circumvent that law by hiring a stripper, a lady who took all her clothes off and spent a good amount of time dancing around minors,” he said.
Anette Pharris took photos at the party and tried to have them developed at a nearby drug store. Drug store employees notified authorities, police said.
“Who are they to tell me what I can and can’t show to my own children?” the mother said.
dikutip tanpa izin apalagi bayar dari yahoo!news
ANEH | 08:07:00
pak bambang dan bu bambang setiap kali mau keluar dari parkiran atau mau masuk jalan tol selalu bertaruh. yang kalah harus mencium pipi pasangannya, dan cuma itu soalnya berbahaya kalau mau lebih padahal lagi nyetir.
“aku yakin petugasnya no-bra!”
“nggak, mas. pasti pakai beha! aku yakin.”
kali ini bu bambang kalah. petugas loket parkirnya pria. pagi tadi petugas loket tol wanita. ya cuma itu aja masalahnya: pria atau wanita. sungguh pasangan garing tapi mesra.
“mas kangen nggak sama aku?”
“iya dong. gile apa?”
“mas masih sayang nggak?”
“oh kalo itu sih jelas! ”
“mas, aku horny nih…”
” iye, gue ngatri, entar sore gue setor. tapi lu kudu ngasih yang lu janjiin”
“sttt… mas, aku pake sexy underwear loh… itu tuh, yang mas suka…”
“gue kagak peduli mau pake bungkus apa nggak yang penting isinya oke punya!”
“mas, i’m so wet massss… ahhh… mas, entar ya, ketemuan. bener lho. janji lho…”
“yeah, emang sih bocor mulu. perlu diganti yang bagusan kali yak?”
[seorang wanita dengan ponselnya. seorang pria dengan ponselnya. adu punggung berselisih satu meja kosong di kedai kopi 24 jam. tidak saling kenal. masing-masing melakukan percakapan pribadi dengan orang yang berlainan]
bener, kami nggak ikutan acara ini. biar hadiah gede kami juga ogah. nonton juga gak pengin. acara apaan sih?
SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - San Francisco’s Center for Sex and Culture played host on Saturday to the city’s annual “Masturbate-a-thon,” an event its organizers said could draw up to 120 people from across the United States aiming to have a good time with themselves.
The event was organized to help raise funds for the center, and, according to its organizer, provide an outlet for safe sex for those who enjoy pleasuring themselves in a semi-public setting.
Carol Queen, director of the center, acknowledged that the event is unusual — even by San Francisco’s standards. The permissive city, which helped ignite a debate on gay marriage last year, tolerates many sorts of sexual behavior but masturbation seems a topic that is off-limits, she said.
“Even people who are sexually frisky … might have the bias that many Americans do, that it’s second-best sex, that it’s something you do if you can’t figure something else out,” Queen said.
The Saturday night event also had a competitive side.
One New York man arrived shortly after 5 p.m. seeking to break the endurance six-and-a-half hour record set at last year’s event. The rules allow for a five-minute break every hour.
The female marathon winner last year, Norine Dworkin, chronicled her experiences in the women’s magazine Marie Claire, saying hours later the activity was “about as pleasurable as rubbing an elbow.”
This year, others like Tony, who gave only his first name, attended the event to indulge in exhibitionist behavior in front of other people.
“I grew up believing that this is a horrible, nasty thing you shouldn’t overdo,” said Tony who is from California’s Central Valley. “The whole point is coming out and making love to your best friend.”
Melissa Gira, a former peep show performer who oversaw the evening’s Web cast, was considering joining in, as she had done last year. “It’s interesting to be sexual in public,” she said. “These aren’t things we’re sexually socialized to do.”
© Reuters 2005. All Rights Reserved.
dikutip tanpa izin apalagi bayar dari reuters.com
ANEH Monday | 30 May 2005 | 20:40:34
laki-laki
tekwan (pasangan: tekwati)
perempuan
bubur (pasangan: pak bur)
bakpia (pasangan: mas pia)
bakpao (pasangan: mas pao)
bakso (pasangan: mas so)
bencong
bakwan (kebalikan: mas wati?)
ANEH Thursday | 26 May 2005 | 16:30:00
“kenapa sih, kucing kalo abis dipukul, dia lari kenceng sambil sesekali nengok ke belakang?”
“ya ngecek, biar tahu kita ngejar nggak..”
“tepatnya sih, karena kucing nggak dilengkapi kaca spion. kalo ada pasti tinggal ngelirik aja, kan?”
